I think of you and write about you today because today I saw you in probably the most vulnerable state I’ve seen you in a long time. Probably since your father died. And back then i was way too young to make sense of it
Just over 48 hours ago you boarded a plane to rush to your baby sister’s bedside who was hanging on to life by a thread. Because, as always, Family over Everything.
When you called this morning, i had never seen you so fragile. Unconsolable. You recounted how you had spent the whole night with her, praying and believing while she laid mostly unconscious, how you had thought she was getting better.
But then, how you felt that moment, how you screamed for the doctors, how you called her children and rushed them to her bedside, how they didn’t make it in time, how she breathed her last breath in your arms and gave up her spirit.
When you said, “but I prayed all night”, I realized I was getting to see the humanity beneath the cape. Because there is no Superman without Clark Kent. I recognized that moment as one I’ve had myself, many times before. The moments where we all wonder, is He even there? Does He even hear me? Does it even matter?
On any other occasion, the strong, faithful and resilient mama I know would’ve given me a perfectly articulated concoction of wise words, reassurance, and confident prayer warrior-ness!
But what I got to see today, was infinitely MORE.
I know i can not possibly tell all your side of the story and I’m not even trying to. All I’m trying to do is share this window into what it takes to believe. The leap!
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