I find God funny sometimes 🙂
Especially because I start this blog post having NO IDEA what i want to write about. I just have this feeling in my gut that I have come to know all too well when there is something in me that needs to be said (or should I say ‘written down’).
I think this one is gonna be about God.
Over the past weekend, I have had two separate external reactions that have encouraged me on this path of words and thoughts.
I think its time I tell you guys about my dream.
I recently transitioned from one job to another and this transition freed up a lot of time in my life. My previous job was overly demanding and stressful and I did not have many opportunities to really assess my life. With the new job, I found that this question I had been asking myself for a while was heightened: ‘What do you require of me God?’ I really did feel like something was missing.
I remember clearly standing in front of my bathroom mirror one day and begging God to please tell me what it is that would fulfill me and Him together. I said “Daddy I’m sorry if You’ve told me this before because I didn’t catch it. I’m gonna need you to slap me with it if You have to.” And no later than that night I had a dream.
In my dream, all God showed me was words. One of the words I could still remember after the dream was the word “word(s)”. There two other words as well that I could remember but I’m saving those for later. The rest was just an overflow of sooo many words. No matter how hard I tried, I was unable to identify and hold onto all the words. I had no clue earlier on in the bathroom that He would come in my dream. That was actually the last thing I expected. But during the dream, there was really no doubt that this was an answer to the question I had posed Him earlier on and that I had been asking myself for years now. At the end of dream, I saw Him, yes Him, God! Well, Jesus! The quintessential Jesus. The one you see in all the movies. I had never seen Him before! I still can’t believe I saw Him! He looked down at me and He smiled. I, on the other hand, just melted. There were so many things going on in that dream, but that last part, the fact that I would see him right after the answer to the existential question of my life… It was as if He was signing His name on that answer. Like ‘This is from me baby girl! You asked and I answered!’
Like…………………………………………..
And they say, there is no God 🙁 🙁 :(. Nothing but sadness floods my heart at the thought of this. That God created you, loves you, and desires to interact with you more than anything, yet we don’t see it. Reminds me of this excerpt I read in my study Bible. “We do not realize the unsearchable riches there are in Him. When we wake up after His likeness in another world, we shall be amazed that we knew Him so imperfectly and loved Him so little.”
Dear you reading, I’m so humbled that God would have me share this with you.
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